Why Hasn’t My Husband Called Me?

Yesterday morning when Hug called me (I’d like to start calling him Huggy Bear after seeing a funny episode of Two and a Half Men last night, but I think that would be a little too gay, even for me), I was very frustrated and impatient, and I know I was not being a nice wife at all.

It was stupid work. I owed a client a file that I was waiting on from a coworker, and I had bugged him for it twice and still hadn’t gotten it. It was a graphic he had done for the project I’m working on, and – in his defense – he was just fixing issues he saw, because he is somewhat of a perfectionist, but I thought I was clear that it didn’t matter, and I just needed a draft as-is. As it turned out I got it to the client 40 minutes late. He didn’t even say thank you, so either he’s very rude, very busy or he was upset because he needed it sooner. Oh well.

Anyway – Hug called while I was waiting, and I wasn’t pleasant, maybe borderline mean in inconsiderate. I’m not sure. But – I was really looking forward to apologizing today when he called, but he hasn’t called. And, although I know he’s probably just busy, I’m worried that maybe he’s not calling because he doesn’t feel like “dealing” with me today, or maybe he’s not calling because they are blacked out, which would be worse.

I hate the uncertainty that goes along with having your loved one halfway around the world. Not knowing what he’s doing, where he’s sleeping, how he’s feeling, if he’s warm, if he’s sick, if he’s hungry, if he’s angry, if he’s sad.

People who get to see their husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé everyday often take it for granted. For example:

One of my friends spent Christmas separately from her boyfriend of 6 years because they couldn’t agree on what family to see when, and they see each other every other day anyway...

One of my friends does monthly (or semi-monthly boys’ nights/girls nights with their group of close friends, where all the girls spend the night at one house, while all the guys spend the night at another house.

My sister-in-law flew to California, while her boyfriend drove.
These are amazingly strange concepts to me, because I cherish every hour I have with my husband. Two months before Hug deployed, I cried because he was going to New York for two nights without me (he had to visit his sister, I had to go to my college roommates’ bachelorette party and then go to work). Two nights. In reality, two nights is nothing. But to me, at that time, knowing Hug was leaving for a year (or more), two nights apart seemed like an eternity.