My Weird Dream

I wouldn't say that my dreams are especially realistic, because normally they are off-the-wall, clown-juggling-upside-down-in-the-corner kind of dreams. They make no sense and pretty much just make me laugh. Every now and then I have a real "doosy," though. The kind that I can't get out of my head for days. I had one last night.

The dream started off great. I was making love with Hub. It was really really good. I was only half present...probably had a few drinks that night, because it wasn't just really really good. It was euphoric, like a really good dream. I'll keep all the juicy details to myself. When it was over, I was holding onto his shoulders so tightly and I eased up on my grip, wondering if I had hurt him at all. I started stroking his shoulders in a light, tickling kind of motion, and I thought to myself that Hub had lost too much weight - his shoulders seemed a lot smaller than I remembered. I then realized I had my eyes closed the entire time, so I slowly opened them and joined the real world again.

That's when I realized I wasn't laying with Hug. I was with someone else. He was someone I knew, but I couldn't place him. I was only dreaming that of Hug in my hazy, euphoric state. But who was this guy, and where did he come from? And why was he in bed with me?? And why was he having sex with me??? And the worst thought of all - How could I have done this to my husband????? I was so upset and confused that the fact that he had violated me wasn't fully registering. I was just trying to figure out how I could have let this happen and how I was going to tell Hug.

I remember walking, thinking this was it for us. Hug would never be able to forgive me and, if he could forgive me, he'd never get passed it. He'd never trust me again. I felt terrible, knowing that the relationship I always thought was for forever was going to end over this.

The next thing I knew, I was sitting in a crowded restaurant. It looked like a new place built to remind you of an old place, so everything was well-polished medium dark-stained wood, and there was a long wooden bar running along one side of the restaurant. It looked like people were having brunch. I was drinking an orange juice and sitting at the bar part with two people, who must have been my friends, but I didn't recognize them either. They were chatting and laughing, but all I could think about was what I was going to say next time I saw my husband.

Suddenly, a truck pulled into the restaurant. A tractor trailer-type truck, minus the trailer. It drove straight towards where we were sitting, then made a right turn, passed some tables, and a left turn. It passed a few more tables and a few wood column-type support beams, then tried to turn left again, but it ran into a support beam. I was the only one watching this like it was an odd thing to be happening. Everyone else was just continuing their brunch and conversations like nothing was out of the ordinary. The truck backed up slightly, and i thought he was going to try to maneuver around the beam, but he hit the gas and rammed the beam again. This time, when he backed up, people started to notice. I told my friends we should go, so we started gathering our things, but didn't make it far before he rammed the beam again. This time, the beam collapsed, and the ceiling caved in on that side of the restaurant.

It was total chaos as people ran for exits. I ran towards the collapsed part, thinking I should help anyone who might be hurt. My "friends" were nowhere in sight, so they must have gotten out. It was hard to fight my way towards that side of the restaurant since people were making their way to the exit behind me. When I couldn't get any closer, I stood still and decided to wait until people had evacuated, then try to move in to help. As I was struggling to stay on my feet in the crowd (where did all these people come from??), I saw someone I knew, a friend - a friend who I had been hanging out with earlier in the evening the night before! It was then that I realized I didn't remember much of anthing from the night before. I couldn't remember how I got home, or when my friends left or how late we had been out. He saw me then and must have seen the spastic look on my face, because he immediately came to me and said, "I know. Its okay. Its going to be okay."

WHAT??

What did he mean by that? How could he know? And, if he did know, how could he possibly think it was going to be okay?? Before I could ask any of those questions, he started to walk away. The crowd was now thinned out and we could make it to the wreckage. I didn't see any people laying around hurt. It looked like the truck had held up the roof enough for people to get out. The guy who said it would be okay was checking around the truck, and asked me if I saw where the driver went. In the chaos, I didn't even realize he got out of the truck. I told him the driver must have ran off with the crowd, and the guy I knew started heading toward the outside, clearly on a mission to find the driver. Somehow, I knew at that time he was a cop. He must have been undercover. But why wouldn't he have told any of us that? We'd hung out enough times for it to come up. Was it possible he was investigating someone in our group of friends? I followed him down the road, because he didn't tell me to stop, and I followed him into a building that was under construction. As we carefully moved through the shell of unfinished walls, I started to ask him how he knew...

Then the fucking phone rang and I woke up!

I didn't answer it, because I was trying to make sense of that totally insane dream, and didn't think I could muster up the energy to reach over to my night stand to pick it up. I was thinking that it must be Hug calling me, but I knew if it were him, he would call again right away, and that would give me enough time to get my thoughts together.

It wasn't hug, though. It was my boss. I was working from home today, and he was calling to talk about what we needed to do. I had to put the dream aside and focus on other things. It wasn't until after dinner tonight that I was sitting around thinking about my day that I remembered the dream. Still so strangly vivid.

I don't know what to make of it, but the whole damn dream bothers me now. Everything about it.