I've heard on the radio, saw on TV, and read in the news about how the US is freeing Guantanamo Bay inmates and "ending torture."
Cool.
I saw today that some of those inmates have already been re-arrested in Saudi Arabia for terrorist activities. Oh, and a few others were seen on a jihadist website . Apparently their imprisonment has just stregnthened their hatred of the US and their need for jihad (surprise!). It seems they are jumping right into leadership positions in Al Qaeda.
Hey, good plan, Obama. Its not like our military isn't having a hard enough time getting these freaking terrorists under control. Way to help out.
27 January 2009
18 January 2009
Husband, Where are You?
Husband,
I hate not hearing from you. Its been more than two days, so I know you're not just busy. I wish I knew what was going on over there.
I love you.
I hate not hearing from you. Its been more than two days, so I know you're not just busy. I wish I knew what was going on over there.
I love you.
16 January 2009
Quick Morbid Thought
Hug's base was attacked recently. Everyone was fine. No one even got hurt. When I read the e-mail in which he told me that it happened (no detailes, of course), I had no reaction, other than thinking i hope everyone's okay. Later, when we were talking, I tried to get some details out of him. Whenever I hear these things about him or our friends, I picture it in my head, and what I see looks just like a movie, and its hard to process it as reality.
As I was driving home from work today, I started to think about it more, and I went back to that morbid thought of "what would I do if anything happened to Mike." (I say "anything happened" because saying it any other way would be too real.) I can't see past the first day, but I can picture the first day pretty clearly. In my vision, I leave my house immediately. I don't want to be around my family for some reason. I go to my friend BOB's house (her name isn't really BOB, but that's what we'll call her). I don't really know why. Maybe because I know she'd be supportive, quiet, give me the space I need to deal with it mentally. She's the kind of person who would be watchful, I think, without making me feel watched. It feels right to go there and hide from everyone.
I feel bad for having these thoughts, but I'm pretty sure its normal. Right?
As I was driving home from work today, I started to think about it more, and I went back to that morbid thought of "what would I do if anything happened to Mike." (I say "anything happened" because saying it any other way would be too real.) I can't see past the first day, but I can picture the first day pretty clearly. In my vision, I leave my house immediately. I don't want to be around my family for some reason. I go to my friend BOB's house (her name isn't really BOB, but that's what we'll call her). I don't really know why. Maybe because I know she'd be supportive, quiet, give me the space I need to deal with it mentally. She's the kind of person who would be watchful, I think, without making me feel watched. It feels right to go there and hide from everyone.
I feel bad for having these thoughts, but I'm pretty sure its normal. Right?
13 January 2009
From Panic to Relief
Yesterday was my annual "well woman" exam. I always love those (not). It makes it worse that I had to, once again, go to a doctor I'd never met. In the past eight years, I've had that particular exam done by five different doctors (including yesterday's). That's not really the Army's fault entirely - I moved a few times on my own, too.
Only one doctor took the time to sit with me in her office first, talk to me about what was going on, and make me feel comfortable and well-taken-care-of. That was doctor #3, and i thought I'd never find a doctor like her again. Doctor Numbers 1 and 2 I pretty much hated, doctor 4 I was indifferent. Then came Doctor 5. Actually, Doctor 5 was not a doctor - she was a GYN Physician's Assistant. I jumped at the chance to be seen by her. In my experience, I found that PAs have a less busy schedule and are able to spend more time with their patients and provide better care.
Although I didn't love the fact that I didn't meet her until I was undressed on the table, I liked her a lot. The nurse took a history before her, and she went over it all with me again, asking questions about the things I wrote down like my irregular periods and that we'd like to start trying for a baby in the next year. Can you believe she was the first person to order blood tests to check my hormone levels even though all the other 4 doctors knew about my extremely irregular periods, too? In fact, she was appalled no one had done it before and further appalled that Doctor #1 put me on the pill for the irregularity without running tests. I told her the doctor's name and practice - yep, I'm a tattle. I didn't like that woman anyway. She told me she was concerned that I was not ovulating, sending chills down my spine, even though I had a feeling she'd say something like that. She then told me that I should panic because the tests will tell us for sure and that there are things we can do and it does not mean that having a baby is impossible, just that I might have to work harder at it than some (my nervousness and panic caused a little inappropriate laughter at that moment). She told me the tests would take about a week and gave me her number to call directly for the results.
This morning, the PA called me. She'd hung out in the lab yesterday for the results. Wow - that's like...personal, attentive care...I didn't know I could get that anywhere, let alone at an Army clinic! I have a disease - are you ready for this - HYPOTHYROIDISM.
That was the greatest news I've gotten this year (well, maybe possibly second to some news my husband told me recently, but I refuse to get my hopes up over that, so I'm gonna go ahead and say this is better, for now)! This explains so much. I thought I was tired and low on energy because I was just getting old! Seriously, I'm not even kidding (FYI - I'm only 25). Mood swings, grumpiness, dry skin, low energy, intolerance to cold (I despise the cold here - I thought it was just cuz I got used to Texas), etc, etc. It all fits.
So I got my prescription filled. Ready and willing to take one pill every morning for the rest of my life. Seriously!
Only one doctor took the time to sit with me in her office first, talk to me about what was going on, and make me feel comfortable and well-taken-care-of. That was doctor #3, and i thought I'd never find a doctor like her again. Doctor Numbers 1 and 2 I pretty much hated, doctor 4 I was indifferent. Then came Doctor 5. Actually, Doctor 5 was not a doctor - she was a GYN Physician's Assistant. I jumped at the chance to be seen by her. In my experience, I found that PAs have a less busy schedule and are able to spend more time with their patients and provide better care.
Although I didn't love the fact that I didn't meet her until I was undressed on the table, I liked her a lot. The nurse took a history before her, and she went over it all with me again, asking questions about the things I wrote down like my irregular periods and that we'd like to start trying for a baby in the next year. Can you believe she was the first person to order blood tests to check my hormone levels even though all the other 4 doctors knew about my extremely irregular periods, too? In fact, she was appalled no one had done it before and further appalled that Doctor #1 put me on the pill for the irregularity without running tests. I told her the doctor's name and practice - yep, I'm a tattle. I didn't like that woman anyway. She told me she was concerned that I was not ovulating, sending chills down my spine, even though I had a feeling she'd say something like that. She then told me that I should panic because the tests will tell us for sure and that there are things we can do and it does not mean that having a baby is impossible, just that I might have to work harder at it than some (my nervousness and panic caused a little inappropriate laughter at that moment). She told me the tests would take about a week and gave me her number to call directly for the results.
This morning, the PA called me. She'd hung out in the lab yesterday for the results. Wow - that's like...personal, attentive care...I didn't know I could get that anywhere, let alone at an Army clinic! I have a disease - are you ready for this - HYPOTHYROIDISM.
That was the greatest news I've gotten this year (well, maybe possibly second to some news my husband told me recently, but I refuse to get my hopes up over that, so I'm gonna go ahead and say this is better, for now)! This explains so much. I thought I was tired and low on energy because I was just getting old! Seriously, I'm not even kidding (FYI - I'm only 25). Mood swings, grumpiness, dry skin, low energy, intolerance to cold (I despise the cold here - I thought it was just cuz I got used to Texas), etc, etc. It all fits.
So I got my prescription filled. Ready and willing to take one pill every morning for the rest of my life. Seriously!
11 January 2009
I Sleep to Dream
Friday night I had an amazing dream.
I cheated on my fiance.
And I didn't even feel badly about it.
Maybe because in my dream, my fiance was some random jerk named Keith and the guy I was cheating with was my real husband.
To be clear, I didn't really cheat. We didn't even kiss. We just fell in love with each other.
For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to introduce Hug to Keith. Not surprisingly, Keith hated Hug, and he wasn't very nice. And I was pissed off that Keith was mean to Hug.
How weird is that?
Unfortunately, Hug called and woke me from my dream.
But - after we finished talking, I stayed in bed until noon, trying to go back to that dream. It didn't work.
_________________________
Last night I dreamt I was cuddling with some other man, who was not my husband. In my defense, it started out because I was afraid of the wild turkeys and he was protecting me. Yeah, that's the kind of dreams I have.
Hug woke me up from that dream with a phone call, too. Dammit.
I can't wait to see what I dream up tonight.
I cheated on my fiance.
And I didn't even feel badly about it.
Maybe because in my dream, my fiance was some random jerk named Keith and the guy I was cheating with was my real husband.
To be clear, I didn't really cheat. We didn't even kiss. We just fell in love with each other.
For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to introduce Hug to Keith. Not surprisingly, Keith hated Hug, and he wasn't very nice. And I was pissed off that Keith was mean to Hug.
How weird is that?
Unfortunately, Hug called and woke me from my dream.
But - after we finished talking, I stayed in bed until noon, trying to go back to that dream. It didn't work.
_________________________
Last night I dreamt I was cuddling with some other man, who was not my husband. In my defense, it started out because I was afraid of the wild turkeys and he was protecting me. Yeah, that's the kind of dreams I have.
Hug woke me up from that dream with a phone call, too. Dammit.
I can't wait to see what I dream up tonight.
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