Adoption

There is soooo much to do!

We told our families. It went really really well. I had anticipated at least some doubt...some questions about our decision...something. Mike did, too. Had we known it would be received so well, we would have told them a long time ago. Better to be prepared than taken off guard. Mike's mom was the least enthusiastic one, which was a surprise, since I actually expected her to be the most excited for us. I haven't figured that one out yet.

My sisters are hoping we have a baby by Christmas. I hope so, too. A few days ago, before my mom told me they were hoping that, I was thinking how nice it would be to be holding a baby during Christmas mass. I won't get my hopes up, though. No, I'm going to use my patience and just be excited, no matter when it happens.

For a day or two after we signed the contract with the adoption facilitator, I was terrified. Horrified even. I can't believe we're doing this right after moving into a house. We still have boxes that need to be unpacked. All of our living room furniture is in our dining room. By the end of the process, we will have just about emptied our savings account. But when I sleep, I dream of babies, and I wake up happy, excited. I want to tell everyone. I was to make a big facebook announcement. I want to scream and sing and smile all day. Then, the day gets busy and I get stressed and worried again.

How will we work out our schedules, so we can both work full-time and take care of a baby without using daycare. Will I actually be able to work from home while taking care of an infant? Of a toddler? Its going to be tricky, but I know we'll figure it out. We always do. Three years ago, I didn't think I would survive a deployment, but I did. Eighteen months ago, I didn't think I would survive a miscarriage, but I somehow made it through two. One year ago, I wasn't sure I could handle having a sister and a husband deployed, but I did. Three months ago, I couldn't fathom our lives outside of the military, but here we are doing just fine.

I know it will be hard. I know it will be an adjustment. I know we'll be exhausted. But I'm up for it. Mike's up for it. We're up for it.

I'm so excited!!

Good News!

This morning, I laid awake in bed for some time stressing. Are we making the right decision? Are we really ready for this...financially, emotionally, physically?? We haven't even been in this house a month! Our house isn't even completely unpacked! I've got boxes in the dining room, boxes in the third bedroom, drywallers coming sometime soon to fix the sunroom, a rug randomly folded and thrown in the middle of the living, because it somehow got sandy between storage and the move into the house, a counter stool as a nightstand next to my bed... It could collapse into the soggy, rain-soaked ground tomorrow, and we'd be homeless. Both of our cars could break down. Etc., etc., ad nauseam.

But...

We're doing it.

We're adopting!!

We had a teleconference this morning with an adoption facilitator. I went into it cautiously, thinking we'd probably decide it wasn't right for us, assuming we'd back out. But we're not. We're doing it!

And now I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm really pretty much scared to death, but I'm excited. This is only the beginning. The emotions, the nerves, the fear, the panic - its all going to get worse, but it will be worth it in the end.

We've been ready to embark on this journey for some time, and we're finally doing it. This isn't exactly what we had in mind when first started out, but this is just as good. Its going to be just as good, maybe even better. If I love this baby half as much as I love Buddy, we'll be just fine.